When we do not like our therapist anymore ☹ Transference Issues Part 2.

We tend to be a very happy client until our therapist challenges us, they tell us things we do not want to hear, for example we could be told that we have to do the work to change and if we want specific results, we may be asked to be honest with ourselves… It is sometimes and usually very hard to hear. Our therapist will still appear kind and emphatic, but we may like them less as they do not seem to see things our way all the time. This all happens as the therapist has a nonjudgmental, emphatic stance and at the beginning builds trust and good rapport with the client. Later, however they should do their job and enable the client to gain more insight, see broader view of the problem and how they may contribute to themselves being stack. It is a hard experience, to hear it and we do not like it. No matter how kindly it is presented by our therapists. We project onto our therapist our previous experiences with people especially in the authoritative figure. They may play a role of “our parent”, “an elder” or a “kind friend” in our psyche and we incorporate them into our life that way… therefore it is not a surprise that when we feel more comfortable with them, we can act out our frustrations, and challenges. This is called transference and it is used therapeutically by a therapist to help you. Therapist in fact experiences their own counter-transference and has to be aware of it. This relationship helps the client to practice and resolve our challenges that can be then taken out to the world outside the session. A good therapist should be able to manage transference relationships well to benefit the client and to help them resolve conflicts and struggles. The client hopefully will work through their challenges and feel better and see and appreciate their growth with the therapist. Therapists are only human, they can be vulnerable, their lives are not perfect. They often feel strongest in their work.